The spirit of competition
It’s like this as black kids we are always taught in competition we are taught that someone has to be superior while others are inferior same reason why our parents will always compare us to other kids a mindset that is dominant over black people it’s one of our biggest barriers for success in African communities. In school the “intelligent kids” get awards while other are made to feel small because they don’t have the same mental ability,the same reason why black kids don’t wanna see each other succeed ,we don’t support each other simply because we’ve developed the mindset that we’re in competition and i don’t want you to be better than me . Now this mentality developed over a period of years and years now it has become a reality it’s how we are controlled by our own minds. Another thing is that school has removed creativity and a sense of knowing one’s self ultimately it brings a lot of confusion for some kids, while others may find success in school its because their intelligence is for school but others may not have the mental ability which is very common now instead of acknowledging that we force them like forcing a fish to fly when it’s a better swimmer. These kids end up dropping out, victims of suicide, unemployment and a lot more, let me make an example if Maybe I’m a matric learner and I happen to fail my final exams first of all society will judge me( other kids passed their matric, you’ll never succeed) now that will make me feel insecure and vulnerable, thinking education is the only key to success I might end up being what you call “iphara” ,get a quick job that will have me stuck for the rest of my life, live a life of judgement or even take my own life simply because I don’t know who I am. See school has that effect on us it makes us forget who we are( to school ,pass matric , go varsity, get a degree then get a decent paying job) how many of us ate stuck in that cycle and how many were victims of this cycle, it’s 12 years of school, plus another 4 of university then you start working that’s 16 years of your life for one goal others end up unemployed after this long process. Education is an equalizer success is on you, it depends on how you use what you’ve been given be smart on how you use education it’s dangerous but it has privileges too. If life gives you lemons make lemonade.
What hate most about education is that it only give opportunities to those who are mentally capable of studying like those who’s intelligence lies in books and writing while those who are not gifted mentally are cut off left to be street kids, unemployment stuck in dead end jobs and those are judged simply because they are different. The are kids who are outstanding singers, poets, musicians, artists, athletes others are capable of managing businesses but can’t do math for shit yet our society will judge and make them feel inferior. These kids are those who will uplift our economy the brainiacs will work for foreign businesses. If the exchange rate is R18 for 1$ that means 18 people in South Africa work so that one person in the states gets paid because most these companies we work for are not even South African owned. The only thing they will uplift our economy is skills development, we need more entrepreneurs, artists, musicians, poets and many more but the opportunities are not there for kids with the interests in arts. In school were taught to listen and follow orders thus killing our creativity, a grade 4 child will sketch in his/her math book simply because they enjoy sketching and they are capable of it now when a teacher sees the sketches the kid will be in trouble why because they are not following orders now you tell me , why can’t we pickup that interest and passion the kid has and grow it instead of forcing something that’s meant for them thus killing their creativity. Don’t get me wrong what I am trying to say is that we have different kind of kids the thinkers and the doers we need to learn to separate them.
It was a dark time for me, nobody wanted me, nobody would want a 16-year-old orphan anyway. I had been adopted many of times from when my mother left me here, sometimes I think to myself if she couldn’t love me then why do I expect others to love me? I don’t even remember what she looked like, or what she was like, the only memory’s I have is the different women I was expected to call mom throughout my life. All my previous parents promised to love me, they all welcomed me with loving hearts to their homes, from single mothers who wanted kids to couples who couldn’t have kids of their own. They all seemed promising and all gave me hope that maybe I deserve a family, that maybe someone can love me, but they all cracked at some point and all sent me back even before a month. Failed school tests, broken plates, smoking marijuana, their kids hating me and family members rejecting me those are just some of the reason why I was sent back to the orphanage. Over time I lost hope, seeing many kids come and go from the orphanage and all the kids that I met when I first came here were all gone living happy lives with their families, and I was stuck here.What were they thinking? Maybe they wanted me to help them find the perfect kid since I knew this place like I knew myself, before they could say anything I spoke up and said I can help you find the perfect kid to adopt, sit down Daren they came for you the orphanage owner said and the mother added that’s a beautiful name. It didn’t take long before they signed the papers and left with me, in the car they were all quite until the mother asked me how old I am, obviously she knew they should’ve told them everything about me, I replied and said I’m turning 17. The father with a smile on his face asked when? A question I was never asked before, when was my birthday? I never knew my birthdate but I knew I was turning 17 that year. I replied and said I don’t know. My words sparked a dull moment, there was complete silence, only the car engine made noise, a soothing noise this Mercedes made. It was old school, I remember one of my school mates called it a my father was rich, I was a child back then, back when I still dreamt of driving my own car, life was sweet back then, my heart was filled with love, but now my heart is in a dark place, the warm kind of dark, where I retreat to every night, the darkness I use to escape my nightmares.
After some time, a little girl’s voice brought me back to earth, you should celebrate your birthday the same day as mine she said, wonderful idea Precious that’ll be a great way to welcome our new family member, the father added with a smile on his face, I couldn’t tell if it was fake or that he was really excited to have me as a family member. As we pulled up on drive way my eyes gazed upon this beautiful home, I had seen many beautiful houses in my time, I’ve lived in beach houses, mountain houses, small and big houses, one time we lived in a small apartment in the middle of town, sometimes I just thought they wanted to get rid of me. This house was beautiful, a two story building, painted all white, the paint still looked new and fresh like it was painted the same day, the green grass and flowers made the house more attractive, when I got out of the car, the pool caught my attention first, with clear blue waters, it was right under the balcony for some reason. The inside was black with granite rocks on the walls, black furniture and white tiles, the sealing also white with blue and regular lights on each corner, the walls had pictures of the whole family and some of old people, maybe the grandparents, they all looked so happy in their pictures, my question was why they wanted an outcast in their home? After showing me the house, they took me to my room, was the nearest room to the parent’s room. My room was big with black everywhere except for the window that gazed upon the back yard, the room captured my personality perfectly, I loved it and for the first time in a while I loved something other than my sadness. After they left me I just wondered around the room thinking could this be it? Could this my chance, my last shot at having a family, I quickly dismissed those thoughts because I knew I’d be home in a week.
Not long after I woke up there was a knock on my door, well not my door, wake up we are going to the mall he said, the mall what should I wear, wait the mall I’ve never been to the mall, what if they saw that I am different, wait why do I care what people think anyway, thoughts ran through my mind, anxiety started creeping for what reason I didn’t know. After I took a shower I dressed up casually, black jeans, flip flops and a blue t-shirt, I went to the living room to find them all waiting for me, had I been that long? Before I could say anything, the mother spoke up, I trust you have settled in nicely and I hope you like us as much as we like you, I know we haven’t formally introduced ourselves so let’s do it, she said. My name is precious the youngest daughter said, I am Loluthando the middle daughter added, and the oldest daughter introduced herself queen sthabie, Sthabile the father corrected, and I am Bongani the eldest sibling said. This is Noluthando and I am Brian the father said referring to his wife and himself we are the Khoza’s. I didn’t know how to react, they gave me a moment to take in what they had said, they all smiled except for Bongani who was busy with his phone. I am Daren I, I said with fear in my tone, my surname is Williams, well the surname they gave me at the orphanage, sometimes I think the woman who left me at the orphanage wasn’t my mom, maybe she found me crying on the streets, tears started filling my eyes, I had to hold them back, only weak people cry I told myself, and I am strong. After that awkward moment had past we all left the house, Bongani fetched the car from the garage, this time it was a six-seater family car, perfect choice son the father said, “son” would he call me son at some point? We drove out of the yard, and into the freeway. Before we could get out of the car when we arrived at the mall, the mother told us to bow for prayer, I never had a family that prayed before, prayer was long forgotten in my life, if there was a God, someone like me wouldn’t exist, my misery would not exist. So, this is the mall, not as beautiful as I hoped but still satisfying, this is one tick on my childhood bucket list, a smile filled my face as I said that, realizing I said that out loud, the smile on my face got replaced by an embarrassed look. We went in and out of many shops before they could let us pick out some clothes, wow my first time buying clothes, I looked at myself, looked at these clothes that were donated to us (the orphans) probably by a rich family like this. The store was filled all kinds of awesome clothes and I could pick as many as I wanted, not knowing much about fashion I asked Bongani to help me out, hopefully he won’t make me wear black. The shopping experience was amazing, I was happy, happy that at least I got to experience some of the childhood activities I had missed out on and I’ll get to leave with some extra clothes when they give up on me.
I had a peaceful sleep that night and I woke up early in the morning, before anyone else could I quickly had a shower, a long hot shower, even though I was an orphan that didn’t mean I shouldn’t love myself, I always loved water, when I was little I would cry in the shower, where I couldn’t see my tears, where no one would hear me cry, I’d cry about being an orphan and cry about my mother, the warm water seemed to hug me and I gave me comfort. When I got out of the shower I bumped into the mother, you’re awfully early for school she said, school when was the last time I went to school, wait am I going back to wearing a uniform? Go wake Bongani and ask him to give you your uniform. I looked good, no doubt, the pants fit me perfectly, and the school blazer made me look so smart, wow I’ve never looked so amazing in something I hated so much, before we could leave for school we had a short prayer. I know you’ve missed school for a very long time, that means you must work hard to catch up, have a wonderful day and make me proud son. Those word hit me like a train, I felt warm waters coming down my face, I tried but I couldn’t stop them, no Daren, no hold them back, this is not you, you don’t cry. I replied and said Ok as if nothing happened, the father drove us to school, in the car it was silent, except for the Lucky Dube music Bongani put on the radio, the sweet melody, sent me to a place I had never been before, I felt love, I felt warmth, I enjoyed that moment. I watched as the other kids entered the school, I didn’t know where to start, Bongani helped me to the office, where I got my time table and the helped me find my first class. Before I could find a seat the teacher called me to the front, we have a new learner with us today, Daren is that right? The teacher asked, he called me new, well seems like everything is new to me, I gave him a nod to show approval. The first period seemed like it would never stop, I couldn’t take it anymore, so when the bell went off I ran for the gate, school was still dreadfully boring. When I finally got out I checked the time to find out it was still 9;15, where would I go? I figured nobody would be at the house, if the family was this rich then both the parents would have to be hard workers, right? I opened the front door gently, and left it open, I went to the kitchen and made myself a snack, I wasn’t keen about the lunch they gave me, before I could eat my good-looking sandwich I had a noise upstairs, who could it be? For a moment that noise seemed to stop, it went quiet for some time, slam!! the door shut, anxiety started creeping, I dropped the sandwich instantly, took a knife from the shelves, pan and I put on my defensive look. I heard footsteps slowly heading my way, I was ready for anything, I was ready to defend myself. What are you doing here she said, no I, I am sorry Mrs. Khoza I said, no you shouldn’t be here, what’s wrong with you? I, I hate school, you know what I hate everything, I hate you and I hate your stupid family, those words came out mixed with tears, I couldn’t stop them, her eyes turned red and her complexion became darker, I could see the anger in her eyes, she lifted up both her hands, and I knew when I was about to get a beating anyway, as I watched her move slowly towards me like a lion trying not scare its prey, I knew it, I knew this was my ticket home.
We seek happiness in temporary and materialistic possessions, we expect poverty and pray in oppression, pop a pill and sip lean about it, depression has become a trend, but it ain’t funny when you become suicidal though, we are all slaves to our own mentality, in society where substance abuse has no age restriction, it’s like we all in a competition, to see who has a bigger downfall listen I’ll tell you soon black will be extinct, we are blind too see the truth, vision blurred by a temporary high seduced the illusion of happiness , young black men stuck on street corners, our women stuck in a love game, parents run to churches, but really they just running to a bigger devil, Made to believe in false religions, false Gods false prophets, different cities same possibilities, Black people rise up, come together, we kills our brothers and sisters and call it xenophobia when I reality it’s only afrophobia, I kneel to God tell him bless my presence, I sing for all the fallen hero’s , let their spirits posses me. I pray for my brothers led astray because of color barriers,see it’s funny how everything changed because of a couple of sailors,black minds Africa be free ,what happened to black excellence, black pride, Africa be free, there’s so many fallen branches in my family tree, segregation amongst blacks ,hate among blacks, we hate our own skin color our own hair, kill and rape our sisters because we are made to believe sex make one superior , don’t y’all see we are only killing ourself and slowly fading away , to a world where black is only in the history books.
My second offering PAIN AND LOVE(a short story)
The story line is simple ( a white orphan boy gets adopted by an African family after years of being rejected and abused by previous families who had adopted him)
I figured this would be the perfect time for this as it explores racial issues in South Africa which is an issue affecting Africans Worldwide. In this book I look at how racism, hate and anger.
Pain and love. The only way to beat something negative is by being positive pain and love the only way to overcome pain is through love. As humans we constantly release energy everywhere we go that energy could either be positive(love, trust, compassion etc.) or negative( hate, anger , racism, pride etc.) now we choose what kind of energy we give off . If someone clouts you with negative energy the only way to overcome that is by release positive energy that positive energy you release will repeal the negative energy and bounce it back to the beholder.
This short story will be available for free reading on the 1st of June.
Pain and love
How many of us are living our lives based on the opinions of other people? I remember a time when I always felt like I was obligated to meet people’s expectations of me. Truth is we all live like that we always change ourselves or feel small based on what people think of us. How many of us have hated our being because of people’s opinions? this happens daily, and it is all around us, how girls have a checklist of the perfect guy to date, you know the guy that will intimidate all your friends or the guy that all my friends like. How many of you have changed your feeling and attracti
on towards your partner because your friends say he/she is ugly or they tell you all the reasons why they wouldn’t date him/her. We often change and go against our values and principals just because we want to fit in. It’s a Friday night man lets go out for drinks, and you think “if it makes them like me then I’m going out for a drink”. That’s just a basic scenario buy things like this happen all around us, we are defined by society’s perception of us. If society says we love people who smoke then half of us will start smoking, if society loves a drink and abusing drugs then O well it’s the in thing to do. We feel that pressure to always fit in and that’s because we are insecure about ourselves too, so we look for acceptance from society. We always put that pressure on others too because it is the only thing we know and to them, we are playing the role society is playing
on us, we are their society. If you look at it from my eyes, you’ll see that we are the victims of our mentality. You think you are fooling your friend, but he thinks he is also fooling you at the end of the day you are both fools. How many parties did we go to because we wanted to impress? we study about peer pressure in high school, but we never really learn. This thing we call life to us it is nothing but competition to see who dresses beer, looks beer, has the beer looking GF/BF who’s more happier initially we want to prove to each other that we are beer at life than the other person and my life I mean society perception of the perfect life you know, I phone, fresh clothes, social media popularity, Loved by everyone, Perfect Partner, Rich family, always going out, making other people feel small, etc. It’s all the same we are controlled by materialistic things that are not permanent. We seek that temporary happiness and that temporary recognition from society just, so we can feel good about ourselves. How many Black women don’t love their hair because everyone else is buying weaves? White people did it to black people, they made black people hate their hair, their skin color. Back in the days in the day’s black women used to love and pride their hair, back when they are slaves they used to love their hair and wore their black skin with pride. Look at us now, what have we become? buying Indian hair when we have our own, is this really what we were made for? we buy face creams to lighting our skins. How has going out every weekend or drinking every weekend made you a beer person? why we do we make others feel small because they are not like us? What is the value? how does one add value to their life? Is it by being beer than everyone else? is it by making others feel small, having more clothes than the rest? why do we care so much what they think of us, why do we compromise ourselves, our beliefs, values, ambitions, dreams, and principles just to satisfy your temporary need for recognition from your friends or society? Your vision is blurred by your need to make society happy. Question why do you care what they think about you? Why should their word matter to you? Truth is it doesn’t excite you anymore you’re just stuck on pleasing people and filling their expectations of you if you’re that guy ( who’s always at parties, dressed nice, drinking expensive booze, being in cool cars, being liked by girls, fucking-pussy, Etc.) you know it’s all the same and all you’re doing is trying to maintain that lifestyle because it’s what people expect from you and you don’t feel the same if you’re not living that way it’s like you feel small and you feel like people are looking down on you if you don’t live up to their expectations of you, so you’re not living your life but you’re living your life for people … am wrong? Now the question is will that lifestyle be the death of you, and by death I mean, caring what people say or think of you and letting them determine how you live you’re live your life, even though they will praise you and say cool, you’re awesome that will be the temporary high you will get or temporary happiness… can you happy without people praising you for bullshit honestly
Here’s my very first published work
Modern day slavery blog posts 2019
I’m Book description:
Modern day slavery or rather i say mental slavery, the mental blocks we create in our minds that prevent us from reaching our full potential. The way we think determines the way we live because life is the product of our own thoughts. With this book i tackle issues facing the youth and i look at ways to solve them. Love and hate, choices, stay true to yourself and many more these are some of the topics presented in this book. This book is the blueprint to success, read it and change your life forever.
The book is now available for purchase on amazon worldwide deliveries. Thank you for making it a successful year for my blog and thank you In advance for purchasing the book hope you enjoy it.
Take a few hours to sit alone and think of your past from when you were a kid the earliest memories you can remember, think about your past as if you’re reliving it, look at the people that were around you and the state of mind you were in, look at the joy and pain you’ve experienced… it’ll be unbelievable that this is your past or this is/was your life, as you’re thinking of your childhood, teenage years and present life you’ll see the people that have been constant in your life, the people that were always there from most of your memories the are people who are always there in almost all events of your life, you’ll see all those you’ve lost, through death or people just disappearing in your life and you are yet to find out why. They are those people who were in your life before and they are still in your present life but in different forms, well the role they play is still the same, keep thinking or remembering and you’ll find out who are those people, the role they play is mostly bad because those who are good in your life rarely change forms most of the time it’s always the same people that show you love. As you think of your past you’ll start to value some people more as you see the role they played on your life, your biggest fears and insecurities are because of childhood experiences so think hard on those and you might solve. Now go up and think of the stupid years of your life in your teenage years… the whole purpose of this post is for you to know who you are because your identity is not determined by your country or your name but it is your life in general, if you can do what I’ve just asked trust me you’ll understand yourself beer and you’ll fix your biggest problems in life may be problems you thought were caused by people but they were caused by those insecurities from your childhood or past, as you do what I’ve just asked trust me you’ll understand yourself beer and you’ll fix your biggest problems in life may be problems you thought were caused by people but they were caused by those insecurities from your childhood think of your past you will start to heal from any situation… reflecting is very important it determines growth in one’s life there’s a lot I can say but I think it’s beer if the exercise speaks for itself.
Truth is it doesn’t excite you anymore you’re just stuck on pleasing people and filling their expectations of you , of you’re that guy ( who’s always at parties, dressed really nice, drinking expensive booze, being in cool cars, being liked by girls , fucking pussy Etc.) you know it’s all the same and all you’re doing is trying to maintain that lifestyle because it’s what people expect from you and you don’t feel the same if you’re not living that way it’s like you feel small and you feel like people are looking down on you if you don’t live up to their expectations of you, so you’re not really living your life but you’re living your life for people … am wrong ?
Now the question is will that lifestyle be the death of you ,and by death I mean , caring what people say or think of you and letting them determine how you live your live your life, even though they will praise you and say uyinja, you’re a dwg that will be the temporary high you will get or temporary happiness… can you happy without people praising you for bullshit honestly?
The journey to end modern day slavery.
the mind is in control of your body, they control the mind,they control you -Thomas
who am i? i am just another individual, I believe in change and that change will only happen if us the youth change. We are heading towards an age of extinction, we have lost our ways and adopted bad habits, and those habits become character. We need to help each other grow as a nation, we are the leaders of tomorrow. With this blog I encourage young powerful minds to exchange views, on how we can uplift each other, with this blog we will identify the problems facing us and find ways to solve them.
If you’re reading this right now take a group of different pencils, put them together and try to break them, hard isn’t, now do the same thing but with one pencil at a time, it becomes easier.LT Dlamini
love, what is love? We all use this word frequently, I love this I love that, I love him I love her. A four-letter word with great meaning, similar to hate but more precious, both of these words have four letters and they both express emotion, but the difference between these two is one of them comes naturally while the other is built over time let me elaborate, it is proven that love is human nature, love comes naturally to humans hence the expression “love at first sight”, love is a human need, the need to be loved and the need to love. From the beginning of humans, we grew with love but as time went by, a deadly and toxic feeling developed among the most unfortunate of us, a feeling that grows within one’s self, it is not natural because it comes with a reason, for example, one will say “I hate white people for they introduced Apartheid”, hate always has a reason, we hate because of certain circumstances that developed that hate within us. While with love we love simply for no reason. We love because it is easy and because it feels so good to be loved back. Have you ever noticed how the individuals who possess this deadly virus we call hate are the unhappiest among us? To hate someone doesn’t affect that person for they do not carry that hate with them everywhere they go, but it’s you who is disadvantaged.
We all have different ways of showing love, from childhood sweet, innocent love, to personal and intimate love, smiling unconsciously when seeing a loved one, it’s all the same love is precious, the kind of feeling that makes a 40-year-old mother smile when hearing her newborn baby say mama for the first time, it is essential, a feeling we can never get used to, a feeling we crave like drug addicts, for it is love that makes humans. True love is unconditional love, to love expecting nothing in return. We sometimes interpret love incorrectly, we sometimes confuse love with lust, we confuse love with worldly possessions, but love is something beyond just us humans, something that is beyond our world. It is eternal thus all the gods we worship in our human form have love in common, we may have different religions, beliefs, and cultures but all share love, we all have love in common, to show love is the most humane thing to do while showing hate is the most inhumane act possible. Hate makes us kill, rape, betray, lie and steal which are some of the inhumane acts committed by the ones who live life with hate. We are stronger together than we are apart, let me rephrase we are stronger with love than we are with hate if you’re reading this right now take a group of different pencils, put them together and try to break them, hard isn’t, now do the same thing but with one pencil at a time, it becomes easier.